I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
