I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
