Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
