cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize