I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we're so committed to being not committed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
