Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
MIDGETS
????
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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