Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
