I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize