She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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