did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
