Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
