Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
