Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
