your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
