She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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