he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
