Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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