life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
