I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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