is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I still have a little drunk in my system
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize