Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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