you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my sisters under your porch take her home
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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