You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize