I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
