By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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