We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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