Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
