using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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