I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
