I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
