Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
