I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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