I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
where am i from again
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
