we have pet lesbian snakes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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