Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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