it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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