it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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