Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
