therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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