See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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