Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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