Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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