I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
