home. puking in laundry basket.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize