It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize