How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
