I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
did i just pee glitter
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize