its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
