just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
