I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
