i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
