We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
