woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
