he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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