he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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