Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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