nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
