Sponge bath it is.
If that was your dad, he is hot
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
