he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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