so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
