were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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