Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
