this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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