it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize