Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
