There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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