She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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