that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
