I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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