u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
